This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
