i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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