Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize