Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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