Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
