what day is it and did you see me today?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
