Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
