I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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