he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
