Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Is it because I queefed?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
