While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
