how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
