I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
