If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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