ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
