I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
