We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
