So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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