I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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