I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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