Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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