im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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