I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Ladies don't puke and tell
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
