I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize