Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
