wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
