I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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