She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
