So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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