dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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