Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
