Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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