Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
