reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
