My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
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I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
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Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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