Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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