It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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