my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
