this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
