i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize