I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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