I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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