This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
