my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
