so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
