9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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