Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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