jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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