i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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