That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
