No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
