i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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