Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
smell my finger.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
