DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
