The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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