Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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