after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
